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Hi Mrs. F., my Dear,

Don”t want to disturbe you, my Dear, I guess you are busy.
You said on our way to the guesthouse, that you were not satisfied with your results today, and that mine were looking better. This, Mrs. F. was a sheer chance event. What is important, that on the long run we are doing well together.
You are very self critical. You worked over weeks quietly and absolutely perfect, and now there was only a single day with some sub-optimal results, therefore you should not fall into despair.
It was perhaps a bad idea to do RNA extraction with the “dirty” method so late at night, long after you left the lab. Too bad, that I only gave you the written protocoll. Would be better to demonstrate you “life” how this works. Otherwise you might think that I perform some woo-doo methods.

Mrs. F., you don”t have to kill me. I”ll die anyhow if you leave. I mean if you leave for ever. If we stay in contact, I will be o.k.

Do you have already a plan for the weekend ? I understand you have to work on the thesis. But not 24 hours over 2 days. Let me guide you somewhere to have a break, maybe we find a nice movie or just walk around a bit. I wont distract you from scientific writing a lot. But beeing together for one or two hours I think we both will enjoy.

I probably will fall asleep soon, I”m a bit tired.

But I think of you, as every evening,

Have a nice night with colourful dreams.

Michael

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Thanks for the long evening at KFC, my Angel.
I read the text you gave me and send you my comments tomorrow. Mike A. did not came to the lab.
The quantitative PCR did not worked. I have to do another night-shift. Maybe next week.
Till then I keep the odor of your hair and the tendernes of your shoulder in my memory.
Thanks for everything, for keeping me alive.

Michael

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hi michael,

thank you for correcting my thesis. if you want i can send you it on word? maybe its easier?
i think i want to stay home and study tomorrow. i feel better. we can talk about the project during the week.

hope u have had a good day.

/Mrs. F.

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Mrs. F., my Dear,

Yes, please send the text as word-doc.
I am very tired, I contact you tomorrow. We went to an air-show today, south of Munich. Something awfully happened there: two airplanes crashed and one of the pilots died. I was shocked. You feel so awful if you have to watch how somebody dies within a couple of seconds, and you can”t do anything to stop it. If you see something like this in a thriller-movie, you know that in fact it all happened in a film-studio, played by stunt-men who at the end stand up and get their money and go home. But if you see how a real person dies in front of your eyes, it shakes up everything you belief and you trust.
Suddenly you realize how precious our life is, and how short it can be.

Mrs. F., my dear, don”t work to hard tonight, go to bed, sleep and relax.
Take Care
Michael

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hi michael,

this sounds really bad. and you saw this, must be very sad. sleep well. i send you the word-document. but dont work too hard with it. try to have a relaxing sunday.

take care

/Mrs. F.

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Hi Mrs. F. my Dear,

I attache some additions to the results part (see attachement, new things in blue). I re-evaluated the genotype-phenotype relation. There was a mistake before. No it seems on D11Mit318 FVB has a dominant effect reducing uptake and on D13Mit78 JF1 has a dominant effect reducing uptake.

It”s a pitty you don”t wanna be disturbed today, not even for a walk to “air and fresh up your feather” a bit. Please write me some words at least, not just “Thanks”.
You know I don”t like this so much, I think that I am much more indept to you, honestly. I gained so much from your presence, you gave me something nobody else can give. In contrast, the scientific help and writing and correcting could have been done by anybody else. O.k., I have to admit I did it with much more passion, because I knew it is for your future. But in theory, any supervisor should have helped you like I did it. Therefor, if you say “Thank you for the text/work/data …” it too much reminds me that we are still bound by this professional relation, and this one will end soon (which is too bad, but what can I do).

My only hope is that you will do what you promised on Friday, and we will stay in contact (what does it mean “staying in contact”: I don”t know). I will see occasional words from you send by e-mail from Sweden, but I wont hear you voice any more or see your eyes or your smile. This will be hard for me.
Do you remember when I wrote you a mail from France “For Mrs. F. the scientist, and Mrs. F. the angel”
where I said that we all need something in addition to our scientific projects, that will give us joy and satisfaction when science temporarily is in a crisis. I said that you have your family, persian music and movies, and that I “have you” and books and guitar playing.
Now it appeares to me the other way around, because I will lose you, I have to compensate with my work, I probably will stay in the lab for 16 hours a day, because this blue-eyed, calm, wonderful girl, that during 20 years grew up from a baby on her parents arm to a gifted MSc student is not there any more to go out after work. There will only be this “army” of uniform co-workers, but nobody who “takes my breath away” as she did it.

At least, I will continue to think of you and will try to keep track of your well-beeing and your happiness, as I have done since 20 years.

TAKE CARE

(and in the future, Mrs. F. my Dear, be aware of elder men, and don”t put a spell on them with your eyes, as you did it on me during the lectures. Once they got caught by you as I got, by your smile and your vitality, your eyes and your hair and your magic walk and all the beauty that is still hidden and that one can only guess, then my Dear, you will have problems getting rid of them ).

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hi michael,

i don´t know what to say. you have been so kind to me from the first day. i will never forget you, your kindness and your passion. i will be your friend forever. i enjoyed our time together too but in my way. You see, we are in different phase of life, you are much more forward and i”m in the beginning, you know what you want in your life but I don´t know, I need to experience a lot of things in my life.

i am deeply sorry if i caused you some sorrow, it wasn”t my intention.
i wish that you understand me a little bit.

One thing is sure that you are my friend and I am going to keep in touch with you, if you want it too of course. Anyway you never know what is going to happen in the future, so chere up and dont lose your joy of life. always be happy as i have seen you always.
I will never forget you as I said before.

Have a very nice late evening. Dream sweet. see you tomorrow